Hace un año, fui a México con mi grupo de WIM, y es increíble sentarme aquí en mi cuarto en Westmont, reflejando en el año pasado. Pues, no sé exactamente como decirlo, pero mi corazón todavía me duele. Hace un año, estuve en mi tercera semana del viaje, y ahora estoy empezando mi tercer año en Westmont. Un parte de mi corazón anhela regresar a Mexico ahora porque tengo una idea ideal de Querétaro. Yo sé que idealizo mucho de mi semestre en QRO, y yo sé que olvido todos los partes malos de mi cuatro meses alla. Pero, honestamente, hay un gran parte de mi alma que no está contento aqui en los estados unidos. Siento como mi alma ha roto, y todavía, despues de un año, no he sanado. No quiero olvidar mi tiempo en QRO, pero no quiero pasar tiempo reflejando profundamente en mi semestre porque me duele. Ojalá regresar con todo mi corazón, y es muy dificil ahora porque una amiga mía regresará en tres semanas..a Queretáro para visitar con su novio mexicano. Tengo celos de ella, porque yo no puedo regresar tambien. Y ser honesta, otro parte de mi alma me duele porque quiero tener las mismas relaciones y amistades que tenía en Mexico, especialmente con los amigos de Betél, y con las personas de mi grupo de WIM. Es muy, muy desafiante estar aqui en Westmont sin tres personas de mi grupo (que ya se han graduado) y tambien es desafiante ser con los otros, pero en una nueva manera y en otro contexto. En Mexico, tenía las mejores amistades de mi vida. En Westmont yo he mantenido la mayoria de mis amistades, pero no son las mismas que fueron en Mexico....este me duele mucho. Pues, de todo modo, no quiero simplemente quejarme. Me siento bendecida porque tuve la oportunidad a estudiar afuera de los Estados. Tuve las experiencias mejores de mi vida. Tuve una oportunidad a aprender, construir relaciones increíbles y vistiar los mas bellos lugares del mundo. Por eso, doy gracias, aún en mi tristeza. Gracias a Dios por mi semestre en Mexico.
-Emily
(sorry it's in Spanish. I needed a place to let out my emotions!) Love love, Em
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Saturday, April 26, 2014
It's Only Just Begun// Acaba de Empezar
My final reflection paper on the entire experience of Mexico...what a blessing this journey has been.
Em
Em
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Mas Cosas de mi Corazon//More things from my Heart
Wow. It has been 3 months, almost 4, since I have returned home and I am now almost done with ANOTHER semester at Westmont. The way time passes is unreal.
Well, hello, to whoever may stumble upon this blog. I am no longer in Mexico, but it does not mean that the processing has stopped. While I won't go so far as to keep posting every Sunday, or even go so far as to post this on Facebook for the world to see, I want to continue keeping this space open for my feelings and thoughts on Mexico and the entire experience.
How am I doing? How have I been? That's quite a lot to explain in one quick post, and there has been some of the highest highs and lowest lows in the past 3 1/2 months. Home is the best and most comfortable place, yet sometimes seems to bring the most pain and the most heartache. I have had to adapt to having half of my heart in Mexico and to the reality that nothing will ever be the same. Even if I have the fortunate chance to return to QRO (which I WILL make happen eventually), nothing will ever be the same. Isn't that a scary thought? My friendships will never be the same, the people I interacted with will never be the same, the church I attended will never the same, even the city in the long run will never be the same. I think sometimes this hurts me because I am not a big fan of change. I do not like having to move on from one great experience in my life and then not be able to go back to it and relive it all over again. Thus, sometimes I get very very nostalgic and it's almost painful and unbearable. I crave something that God blessed me with once, but that I will not be experiencing ever again. Even simple relationships that I had with my WIM team have changed, and I question why certain friendships were given to me if now they almost are non-existent. There are all these incredible memories that I have, and I want to relive them but I cannot. Quite plainly, it sucks! If only there were a way in which I could explain how heartbreaking it is sometimes.
So, while I dwell often in sadness, I am also still trying to figure out how Mexico can play now into my life and how it can be a tangible and good thing. I don't want Mexico to disappear from my life, but on the other hand I don't want it to become something that saddens me to think about. I am trying to find this middle ground, and I think some days my memories make me laugh and smile, while other days my memories make me want to cry. Then, what solution is there? I'm not quite sure, and I know it will be a long time until I truly figure out what God is teaching me through this transition period. Culture shock is over, but "returning from the best semester ever of your life" shock is not over.
With this, whoever reads this, whoever may stumble across this post, I ask for your prayer that you can pray for my transition which is apparently still going on. Ask me questions about how I am and how Mexico impacted my life. I want to share, I want to dwell, I want to rejoice in the past--all in a healthy way. Seek me out, be intentional and love on me as this process continues.
And as I end, I write to the Father who made me, who gave me Mexico as a gift, and I say thank you. Thank you for everything, no matter how difficult it has been at times. I wouldn't take back this trip for the world, regardless of how tough it has often made things back here in the States. Jesus knew what He was doing, and He still does. I too will pray in this season of life, and seek His wisdom.
Blessings on this night and this next chapter of life.
E
Well, hello, to whoever may stumble upon this blog. I am no longer in Mexico, but it does not mean that the processing has stopped. While I won't go so far as to keep posting every Sunday, or even go so far as to post this on Facebook for the world to see, I want to continue keeping this space open for my feelings and thoughts on Mexico and the entire experience.
How am I doing? How have I been? That's quite a lot to explain in one quick post, and there has been some of the highest highs and lowest lows in the past 3 1/2 months. Home is the best and most comfortable place, yet sometimes seems to bring the most pain and the most heartache. I have had to adapt to having half of my heart in Mexico and to the reality that nothing will ever be the same. Even if I have the fortunate chance to return to QRO (which I WILL make happen eventually), nothing will ever be the same. Isn't that a scary thought? My friendships will never be the same, the people I interacted with will never be the same, the church I attended will never the same, even the city in the long run will never be the same. I think sometimes this hurts me because I am not a big fan of change. I do not like having to move on from one great experience in my life and then not be able to go back to it and relive it all over again. Thus, sometimes I get very very nostalgic and it's almost painful and unbearable. I crave something that God blessed me with once, but that I will not be experiencing ever again. Even simple relationships that I had with my WIM team have changed, and I question why certain friendships were given to me if now they almost are non-existent. There are all these incredible memories that I have, and I want to relive them but I cannot. Quite plainly, it sucks! If only there were a way in which I could explain how heartbreaking it is sometimes.
So, while I dwell often in sadness, I am also still trying to figure out how Mexico can play now into my life and how it can be a tangible and good thing. I don't want Mexico to disappear from my life, but on the other hand I don't want it to become something that saddens me to think about. I am trying to find this middle ground, and I think some days my memories make me laugh and smile, while other days my memories make me want to cry. Then, what solution is there? I'm not quite sure, and I know it will be a long time until I truly figure out what God is teaching me through this transition period. Culture shock is over, but "returning from the best semester ever of your life" shock is not over.
With this, whoever reads this, whoever may stumble across this post, I ask for your prayer that you can pray for my transition which is apparently still going on. Ask me questions about how I am and how Mexico impacted my life. I want to share, I want to dwell, I want to rejoice in the past--all in a healthy way. Seek me out, be intentional and love on me as this process continues.
And as I end, I write to the Father who made me, who gave me Mexico as a gift, and I say thank you. Thank you for everything, no matter how difficult it has been at times. I wouldn't take back this trip for the world, regardless of how tough it has often made things back here in the States. Jesus knew what He was doing, and He still does. I too will pray in this season of life, and seek His wisdom.
Blessings on this night and this next chapter of life.
E
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| My first picture being back home--lovely Laguna in December. |
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Vamanos//Let's Go
I am coming home today.
In 40 minutes I'm leaving my house on Privada del Sol for the last time and I am saying goodbye to my amazing mom, Irlanda, and then heading out to CIQ to catch a 4 o'clock ride to the airport. I get on a plane at 6:30 have a 5 hour layover in Houston and catch another 3 hour plane ride to LAX.
I am leaving home today.
In 40 minutes I am walking out from the place that has captured my heart, that has swept me away, that has molded me and shaped me and grown me and changed me, that has allowed me to create best friends and that has taught me the meaning of pure joy and peace and presence. I am leaving heart broken, and after saying goodbye tonight to every place, every person and every memory that I have made these last 4 months, it will be a difficult day today. I know that for sure.
But, I am coming home for real today, I am going to Orange County a new person ready to share my perspectives, my new views, my new self, my experiences and my memories with those I care about most. I look forward to running into my parents arms and seeing my favorite sights and favorite people and eating my favorite food again. It will be quite a welcoming, I am sure.
The last 24 hours I have spent without sleeping- besides a 30 minute power nap next to Laura. I had my goodbye meal with my family, swaped some laughs, shared some gifts, and hugged them tight. I had my last Italian Coffee Company with Laura and Luise and we bought friendship braclets (not at all cheesy :P ). I had my last family dinner with Betsy, Brad and Laura at Huacal, and said goodbye to Paulina our awesome restaurant owner. I walked around the Centro saying goodbye to Plaza de Armas, and Jardin Zenea. I went to Haga Su Taco and 15 people from Iglesia Betel blessed us with a goodbye dinner, handwritten notes, prayers, t-shirts, post-cards and their love. I went to the Arcos with Laura, Brad, Alan and Luise, sang the Doxology, 'To God be the Glory' and looked at the view of my beautiful city of Queretaro with love. I enjoyed my night more than anything, and am coming home sleepless but content. I left well, and I am leaving with a very full heart.
Thank you, Jesus, for this trip to Mexico.
Thank you for blessing me beyond belief and showing me your love and your greatness and your global presence and power.
Thank you for this country that I have grown so fond of, and thank you for the memories that I will forever keep with me.
Thank you for being my eternal friend and Father, I love you.
Amen.
Heading out the door....good morning good night and SEE YOU SOON!:)
In 40 minutes I'm leaving my house on Privada del Sol for the last time and I am saying goodbye to my amazing mom, Irlanda, and then heading out to CIQ to catch a 4 o'clock ride to the airport. I get on a plane at 6:30 have a 5 hour layover in Houston and catch another 3 hour plane ride to LAX.
I am leaving home today.
In 40 minutes I am walking out from the place that has captured my heart, that has swept me away, that has molded me and shaped me and grown me and changed me, that has allowed me to create best friends and that has taught me the meaning of pure joy and peace and presence. I am leaving heart broken, and after saying goodbye tonight to every place, every person and every memory that I have made these last 4 months, it will be a difficult day today. I know that for sure.
But, I am coming home for real today, I am going to Orange County a new person ready to share my perspectives, my new views, my new self, my experiences and my memories with those I care about most. I look forward to running into my parents arms and seeing my favorite sights and favorite people and eating my favorite food again. It will be quite a welcoming, I am sure.
The last 24 hours I have spent without sleeping- besides a 30 minute power nap next to Laura. I had my goodbye meal with my family, swaped some laughs, shared some gifts, and hugged them tight. I had my last Italian Coffee Company with Laura and Luise and we bought friendship braclets (not at all cheesy :P ). I had my last family dinner with Betsy, Brad and Laura at Huacal, and said goodbye to Paulina our awesome restaurant owner. I walked around the Centro saying goodbye to Plaza de Armas, and Jardin Zenea. I went to Haga Su Taco and 15 people from Iglesia Betel blessed us with a goodbye dinner, handwritten notes, prayers, t-shirts, post-cards and their love. I went to the Arcos with Laura, Brad, Alan and Luise, sang the Doxology, 'To God be the Glory' and looked at the view of my beautiful city of Queretaro with love. I enjoyed my night more than anything, and am coming home sleepless but content. I left well, and I am leaving with a very full heart.
Thank you, Jesus, for this trip to Mexico.
Thank you for blessing me beyond belief and showing me your love and your greatness and your global presence and power.
Thank you for this country that I have grown so fond of, and thank you for the memories that I will forever keep with me.
Thank you for being my eternal friend and Father, I love you.
Amen.
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| Spent 24+ hours with these great people.... #blessed |
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| PDA (Plaza Del Armas) at 2 in the morning...#wimming |
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| Luise, Laura y Emily- Amigas |
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| Goodbye Queretaro. Love, Emily |
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| Last family dinner |
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| Paulina and Huacal goodbye |
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| Amazing body of Christ from Iglesia Betel coming to visit us |
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| Haga Su Taco friends- Jasmin and her baby sister |
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| Last and final picture. |
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Los Dias Finales//The Last Days
Hello world,
I am coming home in 2 days. Yes, I am coming home.
Tonight is my last full night of sleep in my bed.
Tonight is our last group time, our last Vespers.
Today was my last time at Church.
Tomorrow I say goodbye to the country and the city that have stolen a piece of my heart, and that have changed me and made me a truly different person.
How do I feel? Well, I am really not ready to come home. In all honesty, I could stay here for two more months, maybe a whole other semester and be happy as ever. I LOVE Mexico, and my friends and my family and everything about this great country. Yet, I know I have a family and friends at home who are waiting for me anxiously, and I cannot wait to see all of them as well. There are so many mixed emotions, so much fear and worry, sadness and heartbreak, but also that joy and anticipation that I can reunite with those who love me back in the States.
Over the last few days I have been in whirlwind mode, going from one activity to the other, and I haven't truly allowed myself much time to think or even sleep for that matter. Still, I can sleep in the US, so for now, I am enjoying and utilizing every little moment I can with friends down here. What have I been up to? Well, these last few days have included: working out and playing volleyball, a goodbye comida/ graduation with families and friends and ITQ, dance class presentations (with costumes), last classes and assignments, a final chance to go out dancing at Bar Habana, Iceskating, fancy group dinner (4 star private dining experience), 2 sleepovers (thanks to Mary and then Luise), my last College group and main church service, and lots and lots of hard goodbyes and many emotions. Down below I have added a variety of pictures from the last few days so you can better understand what my life has been like lately.....Because honestly, though a hard one, it still has been an amazing weekend.
I will make sure to write one more time before heading home for good....but for now, you can pray that my goodbyes go smoothly tomorrow and tonight, and that I can prepare myself emotionally to return home to the EEUU. :)
Wednesday: Last workout in Queretaro 2000, Art class, saying goodbye to CIQ, Haga Su Taco
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| Last Wednesday playing VB and Running at Queretaro 2000 (nearby mega sports park) |
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| Saying goodbye to CIQ (our school in the evenings) |
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| My best friends (MX and gringo) at our goodbye comida at ITQ |
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| Luise- one of the most amazing women I have gotten to know in my life |
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| Brad, Diego, Sam, Alan |
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| Getting ready to dance the Disco at our goodbye Comida/ dance presentation |
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| Ladies in our traditional Mexican get-up |
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| The whole group after our dance presentation- rocking the Mexican wear |
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| My Mama and my sister (Irlanda and Andy) |
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| Mama Melissa, Brad y Tia Emily |
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| Best friends headed to our last class of the semester! |
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| Laurita Bonita |
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| As you can see, I really love these ladies- out ICESKATING! Celebrating our last day of school |
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| The gang on the rink |
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| Privada Del Sol- my street:) |
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| Last night at College Group |
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| I will never forget how accepting and loving this church was...what a blessing to my semester and life! |
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| Last Sunday Morning + Alexa |
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| I get to live next to this girl in the Spring... stoked:) |
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| Iglesia Betel |
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| Pam, Emily, Luise, Laura, Shelby- love these women! |
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
En una Semana (2.0)// In One Week (2.0)
One week. 7 days. That's what I've got left.
One week before leaving FOR Mexico, I wrote a blog entry about my fears, my excitements, what lay ahead- everything. Here is an excerpt:
"I cannot believe that in just 7 short days I will be leaving for such a radical journey abroad. As I have been preparing myself mentally and spiritually, through talking with close friends, praying and just losing myself in my own thoughts, I realize just how BIG this adventure is in my life...an entire 1,693 miles will be separating from the place I call home. Crazy...I know.
One week before leaving FOR Mexico, I wrote a blog entry about my fears, my excitements, what lay ahead- everything. Here is an excerpt:
"I cannot believe that in just 7 short days I will be leaving for such a radical journey abroad. As I have been preparing myself mentally and spiritually, through talking with close friends, praying and just losing myself in my own thoughts, I realize just how BIG this adventure is in my life...an entire 1,693 miles will be separating from the place I call home. Crazy...I know.
But yet again, I have no fear in leaving for Mexico, nor being in Mexico for four months, because I think God is going to do great things through my time abroad. God knows how much I love to control my own life, as I am always planning, planning and planning some more. Yet, I cannot plan this trip, nor how it is going to turn out. I have no idea what my time in Mexico will look like, how it will effect me or how it will shape me. But hey, even better... because the smaller I become, the bigger God can be in my life. That is what I look forward to: letting go and letting God."
Can I just say that not only God has answered my prayers, He has SURPASSED my expectations and has created and fashioned something out of these 4 months that will never be able to be repeated nor relived. I had no idea how Mexico would shape me, but shape me it has: personally, spiritually, socially. I love that I looked forward to "letting go and letting God." In reality, that has been so much of my motto here- the concept of letting go and being present. I am so thankful to see God's hand working and coming full circle, because there has been a radical transformation, and for that I am incredibly grateful!
That being said, (in the spirit of my referenced post) in 7 short days:
-I will be going to bed in my own double-sized, down-comforted bed, in my own room
-I will be tearful, after saying goodbye to 16 of my best friends in Houston and LAX
-I will be hugging my mama and my daddy, in the arms of the best parents in the world
-I will be throwing away all the toilet paper I want in the toilet!!!!
-I will be drinking from water fountains, faucets and my sink without worrying about parasites
-I will be eating In-N-Out or homemade chocolate chip cookies, knowing my mom's tendencies
-I will be entering into a new stage of "cultural re-entry" with adaptations and lessons to be learned
-I will be crossing back into US culture, social norms and rhythm of life with wariness
-I will be opening my eyes to my home-life, my country, and my city with a new perspective
-I will be thanking Jesus for every moment of the last four months of my life.
Basically, in 7 short days this journey will be over, but the memories will never escape me!
Speaking of such, Christmas has arrived in Queretaro, and here are some shots of Jardin Zenea, the downtown Centro area. The entire plaza is covered in Christmas decorations and life size nativity scenes! On our way home from ITQ, we stopped for a photo shoot:) Enjoy!
Can I just say that not only God has answered my prayers, He has SURPASSED my expectations and has created and fashioned something out of these 4 months that will never be able to be repeated nor relived. I had no idea how Mexico would shape me, but shape me it has: personally, spiritually, socially. I love that I looked forward to "letting go and letting God." In reality, that has been so much of my motto here- the concept of letting go and being present. I am so thankful to see God's hand working and coming full circle, because there has been a radical transformation, and for that I am incredibly grateful!
That being said, (in the spirit of my referenced post) in 7 short days:
-I will be going to bed in my own double-sized, down-comforted bed, in my own room
-I will be tearful, after saying goodbye to 16 of my best friends in Houston and LAX
-I will be hugging my mama and my daddy, in the arms of the best parents in the world
-I will be throwing away all the toilet paper I want in the toilet!!!!
-I will be drinking from water fountains, faucets and my sink without worrying about parasites
-I will be eating In-N-Out or homemade chocolate chip cookies, knowing my mom's tendencies
-I will be entering into a new stage of "cultural re-entry" with adaptations and lessons to be learned
-I will be crossing back into US culture, social norms and rhythm of life with wariness
-I will be opening my eyes to my home-life, my country, and my city with a new perspective
-I will be thanking Jesus for every moment of the last four months of my life.
Basically, in 7 short days this journey will be over, but the memories will never escape me!
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| (Photo creds to Kara) One of my favorite pictures with my favorite people |
Well that's all for the 1 week mark. Hasta luego!
-EM
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Sunday, December 1, 2013
Recuerdos de la Semana Pasada // Memories from the Past Week
HAPPY FIRST DAY OF DECEMBER! We are now in single digits on the countdown, and man I am already getting nostalgic thinking about it. This week is finals week (though I only have 1 big oral test...the rest are presentaciones y ensayos) and This week is also the FINAL week that I have left in MEXICO. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! I really don't know, and whereas I could sit here and type all about my mixed emotions and fears and what not, I'd figure the majority of my few readers would rather look at my most recent pictures. SO, Here is the quick run-down of our 27 hour trip to Guanjuato, the magical state and city which stole yet another piece of my heart. PLUS, this trip was more of a free-for-all, relaxed, without schedule type of trip, which was so needed. It was wonderful having time to hang out, sleep in and enjoy our crazy awesome hotel that had a tree growing in the middle of it, 5 floors, and an awesome terrace overlooking the city.
Saturday, 23 de Noviembre:
-Went to an old mine, got to go down in it and wear a hard helmet.
-Visited a museum of Mummies, which I couldn't take pictures in, because I didn't want to pay. Mary took enough for the majority of our group, but I don't have access to her's right now.
-Visited another church in the city, which was pretty neat, but not exactly my favorite.
-Visited Juarez' Theater, aka a reall awesome theater with a ginormous ballroom in it..I utilized the space to practice some of the famous Cumbia we are all masters at (not really.)
-Ate Spaghetti at a fancy sit-down restaurant for comida
-We all took a tram type thing up to the pipila, a huge statute of a local hero of Guanajuato....when I looked up his name on Wikipedia, it apparently stands for "his freckled face, similar to that of a turkey." Random, I Know.
-Shopped until we dropped. Not really, but it was freezing cold, so it was more like we shopped until I FROZE.
- A group of us spent at least 40 minutes trying to decide where to eat for dinner, until we ended up following Mary to a pizza place.
-Movie night with Brad y Benja y Shebls watching Evan Almighty in Spanish.. super fun.
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| Lovely lady |
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| View from our Hotel!! |
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| Our Hotel's terrace |
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| Split level, winding staircases throughout, and a tree in the middle of it: aka our hotel |
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| Heading towards dusk in the magical city |
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| Our ride up to the Pipila |
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| View from the Pipila |
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| Benja y sus chicas |
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| I could write a narrative about how much I love these people: aka my walking group every morning for 45 min! |
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| The pipila....and Brad |
Sunday, 24 de noviembre
-Slept in until 9:30- INCREDIBLE for a trip like such
-Visited Diego Rivera's house/museum on the anniversary of his death!
-Walked around and shopped a lot (got some good souveniors!)
-Ate some sketchy street tacos for lunch... (after being sick, everything seemed sketchy)
-Saw the place where Dolores Hidalgo and other Mex Independence insurgents had their heads hung after being murdered by Spaniard rule.
-Enjoyed a fun afternoon of talking and people watching while sitting on a bench with some of my besties in the plaza pictured down below. Honestly, I so appreciate the conversations and the people I get to do life with down here.
-Headed out around 6 to go back to QRO and rocked out to Taylor Swift songs for 2 hours on the bus.
In all, though such a short trip, I felt like it was the most relaxing of any. I am very glad to have ended our travels with such an excursion:)
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| Fun streets, beautiful colored buildings |
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Otherwise, this weekend was also fun because my family was out of town, meaning I got a whole house to myself and had sleepovers every night!! Shout out to Kara, Betsy, Erin and Laura for keeping me company these last 3 nights. Loved sharing a bed with ya'll;)
Quick run down of other activities that have filled me with so much joy:
-Tuesday: Found a CPK in QRO and went out one night with Kara for BBQ chicken salad, Margarita Pizza and non-alcoholic mojitos. SO yummy...but my stomach definitely hurt after that eating so much so late. (SIDE NOTE: they don't serve bread before your meal here...made me sad.)-Wednesday: Another night out on the town, this time a late night Hunger Games showing. I was about dying in my seat watching it- sorry to those sitting next to me for the questions/ emotion!
-Thursday: Thanksgiving, which I've posted about! PLUS, Queretaro has began decorating for Christmas, and also have put up their giant Queretaro sign, which as the typical gringos that we are, on our way home from school, we stopped to take some pictures:)
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| Posing at the Thanksgiving Dessert Party |
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| Our History Professor, Angelica and some of us girls! |
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| Almost got it all in....but at least got the people: Betsy, Brad y Laura |
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| E for Emily. Super original |
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| Took a pic of our lovely dinner table...then my camera died. |
-Tonight: CHRISTMAS VESPERS! :) My heart was filled with joy to be able to sing/lead my favorite Christmas carols tonight, and as the Christmas season has began...I look forward to returning home to lights, coffee cake, and our own Christmas tree in the states!
Anyhoo. Goodnight world. 9 days to live it up...I'll make sure to enjoy EVERY MOMENT of it!:)
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